We are glad you are here.
14 Traits we Seem to Have in Common
- We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
- We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
- We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
- We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
- We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
- We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
- We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
- We became addicted to excitement.
- We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
- We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
- We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
- We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
- Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
- Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
Tony A., 1978
Answering yes to any of these questions may mean you are suffering from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional household, whether it was due to alcoholism or another addiction, workaholism, perfectionism, or some other factor or form of abuse. We welcome you to contact us or join us at a local meeting to determine if this program is right for you.
Find an ACA meeting below to learn more.
There are no membership dues, fees, or requirements, except a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family.
Family Types
Common theme is Shame & Abandonment
Families where Adult Children are raised don’t all look alike. But the common theme is an experience of shame and abandonment.
In addition to homes where alcoholism or other addiction is present, other families may experience:
- Mentally ill parent/parents.
- Hypochondriac parent/parents.
- Militaristic discipline, ritualistic beliefs – religious or otherwise, harsh punishment, and extreme secretiveness or sadistic overtones.
- Sexual abuse, overtly such as incest, or covertly such as an oversexualized environment that includes inappropriate touch or dress by the parent/parents.
- Perfectionism that creates overly high expectations with praise typically tied to an accomplishment rather than given freely.
Other examples include, foster homes or families that experienced divorce. Children raised in these environments often strongly identify with the ACA traits and feelings of shame, confusion, and abandonment. There are many other family types or combinations of types that can produce ACAs, therefore, your specific family type may not be listed here. All Adult Children and their voices can seek safety in ACA. We welcome you!
About ACA
Why We First Came to ACA
Why We First Came to ACA
Why We First Came to ACA
Our decisions and answers to life did not seem to work. Our lives had become unmanageable. We exhausted all the ways we thought we could become happy. We often lost our creativity, our flexibility, and our sense of humor. Continuing the same existence was no longer an option. Nevertheless, we found it almost impossible to abandon the tho
Our decisions and answers to life did not seem to work. Our lives had become unmanageable. We exhausted all the ways we thought we could become happy. We often lost our creativity, our flexibility, and our sense of humor. Continuing the same existence was no longer an option. Nevertheless, we found it almost impossible to abandon the thought of being able to fix ourselves. Exhausted, we held out hope that a new relationship, a new job, or a move would be the cure, but it never was. We made the decision to seek help. help for families of alcoholics
Why We Keep Coming Back
Why We First Came to ACA
Why We First Came to ACA
At the end of an ACA meeting, the group members encourage one another to “keep coming back” to meetings.
Why?
We found people in meetings who listened. They did not judge. They did not try to fix us. They did not interrupt when we spoke. They merely told us that if we came to meetings on a regular basis, we would gradually begin to feel better.
We did!
What Happens @ Meetings?
Why We First Came to ACA
What Happens @ Meetings?
- We share what is happening in our lives and how we are dealing with these issues (our experience, strength, and hope).
- We build a support network.
- We practice boundaries to support our recovery.
- We do not criticize ourselves or others..
- We practice anonymity.
- We do not repeat what is said in meetings (in any context).
Northwest Arkansas ACA Meetings
Weather related Meeting interruptions
Weather related Meeting interruptions can be found on the NWA ACA Facebook Page. See Helpful Links section below
Monday - 2 Meetings
6pm Monday: Rogers ACA Meeting
Time: 6-7pm
Location: 217 W Cypress St, Rogers, AR (Fellowship Hall)
Format: Open to all - Books available for Newcomers
- The first Monday of the month we study The Loving Parent Workbook.
- The second Monday of the month is an ACA Discussion.
- The third Monday of the month we study in the ACA Big Red Book.
- The fourth Monday of the month we celebrate Birthday's and hold an ACA Discussion.
- If there is a fifth Monday in the month we study the A New Hope workbook.
6:30pm Monday: Fayetteville Taking Back our Lives Meeting
Time: 6:30-7:30pm
Location: 224 N East Ave, Fayetteville, AR 72701 St Paul's Episcopal Church Library (Welcome Center Entrance behind Church)
Format: Big Red Book Study - Open to All Books available for Newcomers. (Young children attending with a parent should use ear buds or headphones due to meeting content)
Tuesday
6pm Tuesday: North Bentonville We Are Worth It Meeting
Time: 6-7pm
Format: Big Red Book Study - Open to all - Book available for Newcomers
Location: Bella Vista Church of Christ, 989 W McNelly Road, Bentonville, AR on the corner of 71 & McNelly Road. Park in the lot beside the access road. Look for the single door labeled 3811 and follow the ACA signs to the meeting room.
Wednesday
6pm Wednesday: Rogers ACA Meeting
Time: 6-7pm
Location: 217 W Cypress St, Rogers, AR (Fellowship Hall)
Format: Discussion - The first Monday of the month we study The Loving Parent Workbook. The first Friday of the month we study out of The Laundry Lists Workbook.
Open to All
Thursday
6pm Thursday: North Bentonville Hurting to Healing to Helping Meeting
Time: 6-7pm
Format: Big Red Book Study - Open to all. Books available for Newcomers
Location: Bella Vista Church of Christ, 989 W McNelly Road, Bentonville, AR, on the corner of 71 & McNelly Road. Park in the lot beside the access road. Look for the single door labeled 3811 and follow the ACA signs to the meeting room.
Friday
12 noon - Friday - Rogers ACA Meeting
Time: 12noon - 1pm
Location: 217 W Cypress St, Rogers, AR (Fellowship Hall)
Format: Open to all
- The first Monday of the month we study The Laundry List Workbook.
- The second Monday of the month is an ACA Discussion.
- The third Monday of the month we study in the ACA Big Red Book.
- The fourth Monday of the month we celebrate Birthday's and hold an ACA Discussion.
- If there is a fifth Monday in the month we study the A New Hope workbook.
6pm Friday - Joplin ACA Meeting
Time: 6pm - 7pm
Location: 1800 East 30th St, Joplin, MO 64804 (Fellowship Hall)
Format: Discussion focused on Beginners. Open to all
ACA Approved Literature available at all Meetings
Helpful Links
